Q: Why can't Edward read Bella's mind? A: There's nothing there to read!

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to 

your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job

Q: What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? A: Iron Man is a superhero. Iron Woman is a command.

Q: Why do vegetarians give good head? A: Because they are used to eating nuts!